Life is good.
And life is hard.
I found out tonight that a dear friend has cancer. He's 6 months younger than I am. And the problem is that the cancer is just the tip of the iceberg of what's been going on in their lives. Less than a year ago, his wife lost her mom in a tragic car accident, injuring her and their daughter as well. Then he tore his ACL but couldn't get it repaired because he was having trouble with his heart. He's struggled with heart problems for several months now and in an effort to figure SOMETHING out, they did an endoscope and a colonoscopy today, only to find cancer in his colon, which is - of course - not the source of his heart problems.
So they begin a new round of suffering and difficulty without resolving the original problem.
My heart is heavy for them tonight. It is nights like tonight that I can only imagine how deep a parent's love for their child goes, because I would do anything on this earth to alleviate some pain for them right now, and they're just friends. It just isn't fair the hand some people are dealt.
The rain tonight is soothing, washing away some of the pain of this afternoon. Tonight's Holy Week service was amazing, focusing on the servant teachings of Jesus. I wrote the drama for tonight, and the people who enacted it brought my words to life in exactly the way I envisioned. Even though I wrote it, to see it living and breathing in front of me, my heart was warmed -- inspired.
In addition to the adults in attendance for the drama, 27 children were in attendance tonight. 27! Typically during Holy Week, we get 5 or 6. It has been absolutely incredible the impact our children's minister has had on young families this week, as they have been allowed and encouraged to participate in worship. My cup runs over with joy at her successes this week.
So tonight I live with my own sort of balancing act.
I don't know how a heart can weep and rejoice at the same time, but mine is tonight. If it weren't so chilly, I'd sit in the rain and let God speak to my heart as the raindrops mixed with tears. Instead, I have chosen to sit in silence tonight.
Listening to the rain.