30 July 2009

The Storm

I've been trying to write for more than a week.
But my life has been so turned upside down that words just won't seem to come forth.

I was supposed to be on vacation at the lake last week.
I was supposed to spend the week in the sun, on the boat, hanging with my family and some favorite friends.

I got there Monday around noon.
Tuesday at 9:30, my grandma had to be rushed to the Emergency Room.
She had a bleed on her brain and there was nothing that could be done.
So mom and I threw clothes in the car and took off.

We spent the rest of the week at her bedside, watching her die.
On Saturday at 5:30, she slipped away quietly. She just stopped breathing.

Thoughts roll around my head.
Tears run down my cheeks.
My energy is zapped.
I have nothing to give.

And yet, I have so much to say.
So many things to share.
Stories to re-tell.
Pictures to show you.

And the silence of the keyboard lingers.
The storm is dying down and there is just silence.

So today, I opened iTun3s and just let God speak.
I haven't "accomplished" much today.
But I have heard these words, and they have resonated with me:

Early in the morning I’d like to rise
And spend a little time in quiet
Creeping through the shutters
Falling on my wife
The sun is calling me to shine

Early in the morning, time still flies
Minutes, hours, lost as treasures
My tiny baby’s breathing deeper every day
Soon she’ll leave her crib forever

Early in the morning, it’s crisp and clean
It feels just like my summer camp
The dew was never soggy, but your shoes got wet
In seventh grade I held a girl’s hand

Early in the morning, my dad runs
My mom is getting dressed for school
And Rob is getting ready to start another job
He’s hoping this one sticks for good

Early in the morning, in my neighborhood
The cars are louder than the trains
Kenny’s in his wheelchair tearing up the cul-de-sac
He’s smiling but he prays for change

Early in the morning Meredith returns
From her dreaded paper route
She wakes Gracie up for breakfast
And drops her off at school
Without a hint about a second job
She doesn’t know about her second job.

These days, they are a river
That we’re all floating down
Every loved one, every neighbor
In Tennessee, in my hometown

So let us not take this for granted,
Let us not waste the second hand
But let your love rage like a lion
And let your heart break like a lamb

Early in the morning…


Lance said...

I'm very sorry.

A-Bla said...

thinking of you!

Greta Jo said...

Oh E, I am so sorry for the loss of your Grandmother.
Praying for you.

What can I do for you?