I did something today I never thought I would do.
Never in my wildest dreams could I fathom a day where I would consider myself "a runner."
But today ....
today I crossed a threshold - I have run over 100 miles since I first stepped on a treadmill a few months ago.
It has not always been easy; many days I have wanted to just skip the workout. Many days I have thought, "Well, I could just walk today." But instead, I press on.
And along the way I have found so much more than I ever went seeking.
I found a new way to treat my anxiety.
I found muscles I had forgotten I had.
I found endurance.
I found a love of music and sweat and hard work.
I found a new me.
I just feel better.
I feel like a new person.
I feel like a work in progress when I run.
And isn't that what we all are?
In this world of mistakes and trip-ups, aren't we all just a work in progress?
Running reminds me every time of how hard it is to make it in this world.
With every step there is risk - I could fall or I could get injured or I could overexert myself.
But I keep going.
I keep putting one foot in front of the other.
And when I break that first sweat (usually around 7 or 8 minutes in), I remember why I do this.
Because (to quote the shoe commercial) running releases so much more than sweat.
It's the only place I have ever found that my mind can be truly silent.
The grind of the run and the pace of the music are the only voices I hear for those minutes.
It's not a pretty sight when I run.
I sweat a LOT!
I'm sure my form is terrible!
My face gets red.
But you know what?
I'm ok with that because the run isn't about anyone else.
The run is about me.
It's about finding out who I can be tomorrow that I wasn't yesterday.
It's about discovering how deep my grit runs.
It's about little steps that turn into miles.
I don't know where this journey is taking me.
I don't know if I'll ever love to race or if I'll want to set a mileage goal.
I don't know if I'll be able to stay injury free for another 100 miles (so far so good!).
But I know that as long as running continues to feed my soul, I'll be lacing up the shoes.