(I wrote this entire post in my head last night, while I was lying awake waiting for my sleep clock to catch up to the bedside clock.)
I said I wasn't going to say anything about Parkland.
I've said all I have to say.
No one is listening anyway.
We're all too busy defending ourselves to listen to each other.
And then I remembered that I'm working on learning to listen.
So, here I am.
I'm genuinely willing to listen to you if you're genuinely willing to do something for me.
After Sandy Hook, I asked someone I know about assault weapons.
I trust this person to be responsible - both with their thoughts and with their weapons.
This person is a few things:
1. A gun owner and enthusiast
2. A Republican
3. An NRA Member
4. A Christian
So I asked this question, "Can you help me understand why someone would need to have a weapon like that?"
This person said to me, "No one needs a weapon like that. The argument is that we are entitled to them and we could need them to defend ourselves if the government ever turned on us. The problem with that is that if it ever gets so bad that I need an AR-15 or an automatic weapon, I'll be able to take one off of all the dead bodies in the streets."
While that is a gruesome image to imagine, I realized something that day.
There are people in this country who are terrified.
For whatever reason (and I'm sure there are as many as there are people), they genuinely feel like their lives could one day be at risk so severely that they may NEED an automatic weapon in order to survive it.
It changed my understanding of the arguments.
There's always something more than our first statement, isn't there?
It's always something underneath the thing we say it is.
We say, "Because it's my Constitutional Right to have it!"
But what's under that is, "I'm afraid I might need it one day."
I suspect that no one reading this actually owns an automatic or assault weapon.
I don't have that kind of platform.
But I might be wrong.
I do know plenty of gun enthusiasts.
(If I'm wrong, please don't tell me!)
IF none of you are actually the owners of a weapon like the ones that get used in mass shootings in this country, then your arguments surrounding banning them are theoretical. It doesn't actually matter to your personal arsenal whether or not they are on the market. What is at stake is your right and your fear.
That is ok.
Please hear me say that!
I'm not saying that just because you don't own one, your argument is invalid.
But please also hear me say this, "Are you not afraid of the people who DO have them?"
Because I am.
When I go to a public space, particularly a large one like a baseball game or a concert, I think differently than I did 20 years ago.
I look around for the exits.
I run a quick scan of hiding places.
I look for people with large bags.
I glance toward hidden areas around me.
Because I am afraid.
I am not paralyzed with fear, but I am afraid.
I am afraid that one day it might be me.
Or my family.
Or Ella.
Or your child.
I am not at all in favor of laws that ban all guns.
My personal theology is in favor of no guns, but my theology and my politics don't always mesh because my theology is not the Constitution and the Constitution is not my theology.
You have the right to own guns.
But I also have the right to live.
That's also guaranteed by the Constitution.
And so, here is what I'm willing to do.
I'm willing to listen.
IF ...
If you're willing to share with me something I haven't heard before.
If you're willing to tell me of a personal story of when an assault weapon was truly needed.
If you're willing to share your story of why these weapons SHOULD be legal.
Then I'm willing to hear you.
I'm no longer willing to engage in an argument though.
If you're interested in telling me the talking points of the NRA.
If you want to quote statistics.
If you want to try to scare me with stories of "the bad guys will always get guns."
If you try to run down the slippery slope to abortion or mental health or arming teachers.
If your goal is to repeat the same old lines we've all heard a million times before.
I'm not going to have that conversation any more.
But I do believe that someway, somehow, we can find a compromise.
I don't trust Washington to do it.
But I do believe in us.
I believe that if we will really start listening to each other, we might be able to find some solutions to this.
I believe there is more good in people than bad.
I believe that the vast majority of gun owners are good and responsible people.
I believe that the gun owners I know and love do not want children killed at school any more than I do.
And I believe there is a way forward.
So if you're willing to talk honestly with me, I'm willing to listen.
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