Keeping a Holy Lent: Days 4 & 5

Four days into Lent and I have failed my discipline.

I didn't write yesterday.

How is it so easy to return to our old ways?  How do we give in so easily to the temptation NOT to press ourselves to be better?  Why do we succumb to it so easily?

I often wonder if I would be as disconnected from God as I sometimes am if I lived in a different time or a different country.  I wonder if my physical independence from God makes it easier to think my soul doesn't need much help, either.  If I were dependent on the rainy season to produce enough food to get me through the winter, would it be easier to pray?  If I had to work and sweat and walk just to survive, would I find more time to connect with the Divine?

I suspect I might.
But I wasn't born there or then.
I was born here.

And so, here is where my responsibility lies.


I watched The Shack tonight.  I hadn't seen it yet, but I read the book at least a decade ago.
There are quite a few theological quibbles I have with the story, but I was struck by how much I saw myself in Mack.  I am slow to trust, slow to respond, and pretty sure I can make it on my own.

But Mack realizes he cannot, and I am reminded regularly that I cannot either.
This practice of writing during Lent is an effort to see God in my midst more regularly.
To slow down for a few minutes each day and reflect on God at work in my world.

Yesterday I didn't want to do it.
I didn't want to take the time to reflect.
I was aware of God's goodness.  I spent the day with Chris and then came home to a very funny 2 year old who is obsessed with my delightful pup.  We laughed, we talked, we stayed up way too late, and I went to bed filled with gratitude for a day full of grace.

But I didn't slow down long enough to absorb that.

That's what Lent is calling me to do this year.
To slow down.
To take a breath and savor it.
To honor the tears and the laughs.
To recognize that even among the temptations, God is present.

And so I begin again.
I repent of my laziness and return to my discipline.
Because the journey of Lent is still a journey to the cross.
It is a journey to grace.

I will meet you there.