The marriage test:
Ed and I took the marriage test last night (aka: the focus inventory) administered by our pastor out here to see if we have discussed all of the necessary topics. They say there are no wrong answers – this is not true, when you disagree with each other or say I don’t know – it is a WRONG answer. They also say you can’t fail. However if you score too low – they will suggest that you cancel or postpone the wedding. If this is not failing, I hate to hear what is.
Some of the questions were laugh-out-loud funny. The answers for all questions were: agree, disagree, uncertain. That’s all you get, three choices for all 156 questions – now I am a literal person – and I have been known misinterpret questions due to unclear wording – this is not a good type of test for me.
Also, this is the first test EVER that I have NOT studied for. I was already freaking out at the lack of preparation, then when I saw the answer choices I knew things would not go well.
First question: 15 seconds into the test
How long(in months) have you been in courtship with your future spouse?
What is courtship? Engagement? How long have I had the ring? How long have we been dating? Known each other?
Things were already off to a rocky start.
P.S. Ed and I put down different numbers (strike one)
You think you will be uncomfortable being NUDE in front of your future spouse.
Why the word nude – it is a funny word and now I cannot focus b/c I keep saying “NEW DAH” in my head.
You disagree with the way your future spouse handles personal problems.
I disagree that I disagree? Double negative – I agree? I’m confused.
You fear that your homosexual tendencies will interfere with your relationship with your future spouse.
I sure as hell hope not. What kind of question is this?!?!
Pregnancy is part of your life right now.
Am I pregnant? No, but my friend is, does that count? It’s “part” of my life…couldn’t they just ask if you are knocked up and needing to get married.
Are your parents/future in-laws aware that you will put your spouse before their needs/expectations.
Am I supposed to ask? Do they need to sign a wavier?
You feel that your future spouse is not the right person for you to marry.
I’m sorry but you don’t spend that much money on a wedding if you feel this way.
You see no potential for this to be a long term relationship.
Again….weddings are expensive.
You and your spouse have similar feelings on child rearing.
Feelings? Likes/dislikes – No I don’t think I will like dirty diapers. Does he have to agree on this? Were we supposed to make a list of things we think we would like or dislike?
You have discussed your roles as husband and wife.
Do we need a plan? Like bare-foot and pregnant? Do we need to define the roles now? Sign a contract?
So needless to say I think our score will be low to quite low. I put “uncertain” when I didn’t agree with the wording, Ed put “uncertain” b/c he didn’t know how many discussions we were supposed to have had on each topic. I think we have discussed most things…..I think our biggest problem is the interpretation of the stupid test questions……we get the scores next week and will discuss them with the priest. I’ll keep you posted…..