08 November 2011

A Season of Thanks: Day 8

Today I am thankful for the challenges I've faced.

Several of my long-time friends will tell you that the past several years of my life have been less than I imagined they would be. Often I felt as if I wasn't living my own life -- that someone else was running it for me.

In the midst of all of that I felt completely powerless.
I was stripped bare of all I had been raised to be, all I believed I should be, and all I taught.
I was living a facade.

This afternoon as I was hurrying about my business at work, I stopped myself mid-stride (literally) and thought, "I haven't been this content with who I am in a very long time."

I live in a great city.
I work for an amazing boss (with really great hours!).
I have found a denominational home.
I have the perfect husband for me.
My child cracks me up at every turn and is the most loving child in the world.
I am surrounded by extended family, nieces, nephews, and an assortment of other family and in-laws that I love and who love me.
We have a very nice (town)house.
I even have a pretty great dog.

Plus, we're managing to pay the bills!

On this feels-like-spring day, I have a renewed sense of hope.
While the flowers may not yet be springing to life, my soul is.

I wouldn't be who I am today without the rugged path I've walked to get here.
The countless days and nights filled with tears of frustration brought me here.
The meetings and heartache, the temporary "lostness," the secrets I was forced to keep.

On this side of that past, I am immensely grateful.
I made some of my best friends in that journey.
The ones I had became even closer.
I learned who I am and what I value most at the end of the day.
I learned what I "can" do and what I "can't."
(In terms of my own sense of value and priority, not ability)
I know who I am, and I know where I'm going.
I know what I want my life to be about.
I know what I will never tolerate again.

And for that, I am immensely grateful.

To Nancy, Sarah, Katy, Becca, Erin, Sheri, and everyone else who tried to convince me, thank you for pushing me. (Katy and Erin, get a blog already!) Thank you for not letting me let me my soul rot away in the despair. And thank you for being patient while I found my own way out of that pit. Your love and support over the years has been more than I can repay.

I am grateful for your willingness to walk with me.
I am honored to call you friends.


Sheri said...

It's a good thing today was a no make-up day. I have tears streaming down my face. You, my friend, are AMAZING!!!!

Greta Jo said...

Beautiful! You sure are an amazing person.
much love, gret

Chrissy said...

Have I mentioned how glad I am that you are blogging? Cuz I am.