05 December 2011

Not My Child!

I rarely participate in "not me" Monday because I never remember my week well enough. But this week I had a few "not my child" gems to share. So here they are!

I certainly didn't have THIS conversation with my 7 year-old daughter the other night:
Me: E, I didn't have this many gray hairs before I became a mom. Are these your fault?
E: No!!!!
Dad: (whispering to E) tell her it's because she's getting old!
Me: E, tell your daddy he'll always be older than I am.
E: Hmm ... I wonder which of you will last the longest.

No, not MY child!
My child would NEVER be planning for my demise.

My child would also never want to make her dad a giant Christmas present ("The World's Biggest Cubs Ball") out of "all the junk cans and things in the recycling bin". She'd never try to weasel things out of me at the store by saying, "But I'll need a LOT of it to make dad's Christmas present!" Nope, my child would never do such a thing. We teach fiscal responsibility at our house.

And my child would never, ever, beg for hints of what's in the presents under the tree. Nope! My child is the epitome of patience. And when I did tell my child that she wasn't getting any more hints, my child certainly would never beg for them. My child knows that "no means no." Of course she does! Because we never reconsider what we've told her. Nope, not us! We're the perfect parents.

One last one. We visited a different church yesterday because her dad was supply preaching. Upon preparing my child for the fact that there may not be Children's Worship at this church, my child understood and was fine with it. When we got to the church, my child most definitely did not look at the bulletin and say in her most exasperated tone, "I knew this place wasn't going to be any fun!" Nope, not my child. Not the double preacher's kid. She loves church and goes just for the sake of worship.

What have you and your kids NOT been doing this week?


Erin McPhee said...

I definitely did NOT laugh at this post. I also definitely did not think about the time that my son did NOT pull the fire alarm after church one Sunday. Because he is far too well-behaved for that sort of thing. Or the fact that Daddy did NOT have to call the fire department to tell them not to come. Because we are good parents, and our PKs always act like little angels. Really.

jennie.newland said...

this post did not make me literally laugh out loud! not while all the other people in my house are sleeping! I would never do that!