On this 18th day of gratitude, I find myself grateful for quite a few things. Today is a good day; my cup runneth over.
Here are a few of the things that are making my list:
~ A best friend to journey this life with
~ Sleeping in (work starts 90 minutes later on Fridays)
~ An unexpected discount on contacts
~ ELLA DAY!!!!!
~ In-laws on their way to visit
~ Warm sunshine and a cool breeze, making it feel like a genuine fall day
~ Office shelves slowly filling up
~ Time to think, to reflect, and to tread slowly upon this Earth
I've been thinking a lot today about emotions.
In the past 24 hours I've had quite a few different feelings, and when I consider the Hope of yesterday, I am reminded that Hope surpasses feelings.
The tough ones.
And the good ones.
It doesn't matter how I'm "feeling" in any given moment if I truly have Hope. Hope and "wish" are not synonyms. Hope is a certainty. It is an unwavering commitment to that which we believe. The writers of the Epistles put it this way:
But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
But by faith we eagerly await through the Spirit the righteousness for which we hope.
I Thessalonians 4:13:
We do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest, who have no hope.
Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Today, my gratitude is overwhelmingly for the feelings that are a gift from God.
All of them.
The ones I soak up like a sponge.
The ones that rip my heart to pieces.
I am grateful for them because in their wavering is where I find the never-changing Hope. I am grateful that I am a woman who feels intensely. When I am delighted, it overcomes my being. When I am sad, I weep huge, ugly tears. When I am angry, the entire world might be my target. When I love, the world stops while I adore the one who has my affections. When I fear, it is physically taxing on my body. I love this portion of my createdness. I love that I have been designed as one who knows the crushing blow of rejection and the sheer elation of love.
I rejoice in my brokenness and in my revelry.
Not necessarily in the moment.
But in reflection, I see that the constant shift in emotions is what keeps my faith so stable.
I cannot trust my emotions.
I dare not trust "my gut feeling."
I trust only in Hope.
And Hope is eternal.