23 February 2012
Joy Dare: Week 7
Those often unnoticed.
These are the gifts I am learning to treasure most.
The Joy Dare is teaching me to call up the memories I often neglect.
An image of a daughter on a diving board reminds me of my own days standing there - wondering if I were brave enough. I feel now what I felt then - fear, anxiety, panic, utter trust. I remember with more than my mind - I remember with my whole being because of this discipline.
Treasures buried in the sands of my story are being raised again.
Brought to life again - free to live among the new treasures I am gleaning.
My prayer is that she is learning to glean the rich rewards as well.
That my intentionality helps her to remember these days when she is in the water, encouraging her own to make the leap.
135. Chris' hug
136. Gentle music
137. The eyes of a child - full of wonder
138. Dreams that will never be
139. Rekindling an old friendship
140. The smells of cooking
141. Sun peeking from behind the clouds
142. Friends through tears
143. Unexpected flavors
144. Ella jumping off the diving board into my arms
145. The simplicity of a peanut butter sandwich
146. Gratitude for making it
147. A valentine for the dog - handmade by my daughter
148. An unnecessary thank you note
149. A perfect surprise from my sister
150. Watching Ella manage her own money
151. My favorite kind of pizza
152. Being the back-up plan
161. Friends filling our table
162. Puffy white clouds in an inordinately blue sky
163. Mozzarella cheese
164. Fluffy white cupcakes
165. An email from a friend
166. Finley stories
167. Answers from an MRI
The journey of Lent began yesterday. I have tread carefully upon these soils, unwilling to make the sacrifice. Unwilling to partake of the suffering - feeling as if I can opt out of the difficulties of this time.
But I know I cannot.
I will walk this road.
I will take the 40 days to embrace the grief, honor the dark places, absorb that which I have avoided for 18 long months now.
I will grieve for what we have lost.
I will rejoice for what we have gained.
And - mostly - I will wait.
I will count the days, marking them as holy.
Being tempted in this wilderness.
And I will continue to find grace in its midst.